so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
