just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
