It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
