good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
