that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
