Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
