I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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