My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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