hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize
