Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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