we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
