just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
