my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Vodka?
Forever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
