bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
