next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
