so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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