So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i will never coherently bang her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
