69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
