I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
where am i from again
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
