You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
