worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
