that's an acceptable place to lick
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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