First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
