Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
