Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
