I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
