That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
