I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
