Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
