everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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