You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
