WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
