After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
