I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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