We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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