it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
