i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
