He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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