took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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