whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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