He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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