I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is the high leading the old right now
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
