Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
