fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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