i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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