Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
