I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
