wrigley field is MILF paradise
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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