But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
