how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
