I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
